Tuesday, July 26, 2011

This is not turning out as I hoped it would.

It's time for me to start writing again. I've been doing other things for too long and I need to get back on the horse before I forget how to do it. After reading through my old writings, the ones I plan to edit, I feel discouraged. It's too much that need to be changed, I don't know if I'll ever be able to fix it. I'm not a writer after all, I'm someone who likes to write and thought I'd be able to do it properly. Or at least somewhat properly.

I'm dropping the editing for now and aim to write something new instead. That's not easy either since my brains is mush right now, but it has to be easier than the mammoth task of editing the other writings.

Now all I need is a story ... =/

From a Teacher –

In the world of hi-tech gadgetry, I’ve noticed that more and more people who send text messages and emails have forgotten the art of capitalization.

For those of you who fall into this category, please take note of the following statement:

“Capitalization is the difference between helping your Uncle Jack off a horse and helping your uncle jack off a horse.”

Sunday, July 24, 2011

Heat Stroke

Not only is my brain mush because of the exhaustion, it's hot outside and that affects me too. It has been hot and humid for weeks now and I'm suffering. The other evening I bravely ventured out to film my son and his band as they played. I was sweating rivers, it was hot and I did not bring enough water to drink. The result was... not good. I failed to film several of their songs because I thought I turned the camera on when I turned it off, and then when I changed camera to film my son singing with another band... I forgot to make sure that I had focused the camera. Well... something's better than nothing and I did manage to film something.

Saturday, July 9, 2011

It's a big day today for our youngest son.

Our youngest son and his band has their first paid gig today. They make 250 Sek (27€) each. Not a fortune but still enough to make them happy. It's a private party and I'm happy that I'm not expected to be there. Though that day will come too, very soon. 10 days from now to be precise. I'm hoping that our oldest son will be there to help me with the cameras and I also hope that it won't last too long. Strange wish now that they are finally playing for a live audience but ... I'm so tired.

Friday, July 8, 2011

Exhaustion Syndrome

I found it a bit odd that I could find almost nothing about it in English. (It's usually the other way around, there is a lot of information in English and very little in Swedish.) Then I found this and it all cleared up for me.
Exhaustion syndrome, also called burnout and exhaustion depression, leaves objectively measurable changes in the brain -- including reduced activity in the frontal lobes and altered regulation of the stress hormone cortisol. This is shown in a new dissertation from Umeå University in Sweden.
It seems as if the Swedes are on the front line when it comes to this.

It's been over a week and I'm still trying to wrap my head around this. Things I could easily learn in minutes keep falling out of my mind and I just don't "get it".

Sunday, July 3, 2011


I've been at wits end a couple of times before, but I've always managed to get my act together and keep on going. This is different though, I'm in pain, my mind is spinning, I feel seasick because of the dizziness and I can barely get the most important things done durng the day. I've admited defeat and I've seen a doctor about it. The solution is of course to change the situation I'm in, but that's very difficult to do as things are right now. (My main stress factor is the fact that my husband is very ill.)

I've had to drop all the projects I've been planning to get done and is now struggling to make it through one day at the time.